What Is The Secret Of Great Comedy?

the secret of good comedy

the secret of good comedy

It’s a Sunday morning moment, and it’s encouraging me to do a ‘first’. Have a little light-hearted moment on my blog. Anyone that knows me, knows that ‘humour’ is an important part of my life, I can’t help it, I see it everywhere. It can, indeed ‘has’ got me into trouble at times, but hey, get over it.

So the content today is simply one liners that make me smile. I hope you enjoy them.

Oh yes, the answer to the question in the title is TIMING.

1 – I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 – Borrow money from pessimists — they don’t expect it back.

3 – Half the people you know are below average.

4 – 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 – 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 – A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 – A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 – If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9 – All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

10 – The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 – I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

12 – OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

13 – How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?

14 – If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 – Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 – When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

17 – Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 – Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

19 – I intend to live forever…. so far, so good.

20 – If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21 – Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

22 – What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 – My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”

24 – Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

25 – If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 – A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 – Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

28 – The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 – To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30 – The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31 – The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.

32 – The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 – Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have film.

34 – If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work

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5 Responses to “What Is The Secret Of Great Comedy?”

  1. Brilliant – I love it when ‘serious’ blogs get a little soft around the edges. And here’s a few genuine headlines I’ve come across recently on my travels round the web:-

    -Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
    -Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
    -Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
    -Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
    -Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
    -Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
    -Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
    -Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
    -Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
    -Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
    -British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

  2. Love It Richard – It Put a Smile on My Face

    Here are a few more thoughts for you-

    -Only Dead Fish go With the Flow
    -I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. –Peter Kaye.
    -After all is said and done, more is said than done.
    -Never take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
    -Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the ‘Y’ becomes silent.
    -One good turn gets most of the blankets.

  3. Thanks Linda/Matt
    I like the way you have both picked up the bone and ran with it!!!

  4. Thanks Richard. This is just my kind of humour. It has cheered up my morning. Another secret of great comedy is to keep it brief and you have done just that.

  5. Cheers Rosie….
    I remember a radio DJ doing a ‘punch lines of jokes we can’t possibly tell on the radio’. I only remember one punch line…. ask me, I may tell you!!!
    🙂

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